Weekly Digest 1

My first blog is a weekly digest, and yes.. I hear you.. Its unheard of. But nevertheless its something I know I can do in just minutes, or in this case, 49 minutes and counting. I'm never too good with remembering things and this is actually a good way for me to record whatever has happened to me within this week, and yes, it will be whiny... only because I am.

To start off, work has been pretty shitty this week. I was absent for 2 1/2 days. I'm actually doing some sort of research on the lifespans of mathematicians. I came up with this idea because with my 2 weeks of counting, sorting, making formulas, and keeping track of numbers, It seems I already have a tiny tumor throbbing inside my head. The location is not exact of course because every time it hurts and people ask me "where?", all I can say is "here!" (points on head). Counting small things from 1 to 10675 pieces is not just exhausting, it's actually a good anesthetic for the brain. Every after work my head does feel numb for an hour or so.

Work aside, everything else is still shitty this week (I warned you, it will be whiny!) I still am in my struggle to make ends meet for myself. I am still struggling with whatever responsibilities I have. Sad thing is, nothing else, or the better term would be, no one else seems to be doing anything to make things better for me. A lot of times this week I was feeling like I was already on the edge, I dubbed it the "On-The-Edge-But-I'm-Not-Too-Sure feeling" because whenever I felt like it was gonna end, I pull away almost instantaneously. So much for decision making.


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Warning, everything you will read below will be very mushy. If you don't have the stomach for mushy things, kindly skip this part and save yourself the agony of reading through somebody else's misery.
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This week has been one of the many very tiring weeks for me. Relationships actually make things easier for me, or so I've thought. There really are times when a heart fails to realize when enough is enough. When too much is just too much or when you know a no-good person when you see one. I guess that's just how love goes. You make very big adjustments to yourself because you would never want the other person to get out of her comfort zone. Sad thing is, when you over exert, and the other side ain't doing anything. It gets tiring, so tiring. You settle with what is given, hoping things will change for the better. Until when, nobody really knows. Like what "All-Knowing Mom" told me last night.

"A heart will go through lengths. A heart will go wherever it needs to just so it will get to where it feels it is at ease. But a heart has its limits. Its not unbreakable, and at one point, it will get tired"

Actually, mom never really said all those things, the sense is there but I made all the words up though. Love is never in question, because I know I am at my best right now. It all just seems as if she's not ready for me.